Memorial Day Weekend

Happy Memorial Day!!! And most importantly a BIG thank you to all the men and women who have served this country and made it possible for us to be able to celebrate today. I've been busy looking for new recipes, and getting this apartment thing down. And now that the pool is open, well you can most likely find me there all day every day. I was lucky enough to have a 4-day weekend, which was so unbelievably needed! I also talked to a good friend of mine from college and solidified a beach vacation in July! (Finally!!) I need a beach vacation. Also, I found out last night that Bella is officially afraid of popsicle sticks. So much so I can't eat my creamsicles in peace.  She just stares and barks at me. Sometimes I have no idea what I'm going to do with her. I finally caved and turned on my AC, I'm not looking forward to that electric bill. I started weather proofing my windows to ensure nothing escapes out, and nothing sneaks in (I keep finding giant spiders). Who needs a man!? Soooooo let's get to it...

Friday night I stayed in and enjoyed a nice night of snuggling Bella and some TV. Saturday I finally got to hang out with my little and have so much needed girl time! We went to our local Minor League Baseball Team....followed by post-game fireworks.

Big/Little

I had an absolute blast, and I definitely enjoyed catching up with her! I've also been spending a lot of time walking on my days off, unfortunately, I didn't get too much of a chance to do that this weekend as I was busy with some other things. But I love the walks I do get to take, so peaceful, and the surroundings are beautiful.

One of my favorite spots, and it's 2.5miles from my start point. Part of the trail I walk actually crosses over the water, and when it rains the levels rise and sometimes over the trail. Welllllllll, I walked over it thinking "oh the water isn't that deep", I lied to myself, that shit was to my ankles. Of course, it was during one of the 6mile walks, and I ended up with blistered from wet socks rubbing with sneakers. Ouch.

The pool finally opened, and I've spent some time at it all 3 days this lovely holiday weekend. I ALREADY HAVE A TAN!! What!!! Happy girl right here. I hate being a pastey white, and I refuse to look orange from a spray tan. This means I'll have a bomb base by the time my vacation comes up in July. Speaking of vacations and fun. . my birthday is coming up at the end of June, for those of you that are interested I really want to do something big. I haven't had a fun all out blast just for me and me only. Maybe that's being selfish, but I'm not really sure I care. I feel like I deserve it.

In other worlds, I've also been cooking a lot this weekend. I made southwest black bean hummus, my super awesome pasta salad, and my philly cheesesteak suffed peppers. I'll post everything in my recipe section!

Get outside and enjoy this beautiful weather!!

Chillin' with the YES team

The "YES" team was formed officially on Saturday night. I'm kidding, we're really not a team, but we decided that the answer will always be YES when it comes to us. Which is obviously not true. So Thursday I went a little hard. A friend of mine was actually in town before they took off traveling for work again so we decided to catch up with each other. Let's just say I clearly need to slow down. I'm taking life wayyyy too fast. But at least I'm enjoying it right?!

This is all we did on Friday

I wouldn't trade her for anything. I wish people would take a step back and realize that she's not just my dog, but my best friend, my companion, my savior and the reason I wake up every day. I get so tired of people bashing my obsession with her, or even people acting like I put her before everything else. News flash, I'm not sure I would still be here today if I didn't get her back. I gave up many times for a couple months. Struggling to find a reason to get out of bed.

So Friday was strictly us lounging and sleeping, some times you just need days like that. Saturday was turning out to be the same until a friend of mine asked me to meet up. We went out for a couple drinks and formed the YES team. What. A. Night. So full of laughs. And on that note, I really wish people would stop spreading rumors. Just because two people hang out doesn't mean any thing. It's okay to have friends.

My confidence is booming some nights

I had a friend from college comment that she was amazed at how far I've come. Truth is it took me about 30 minutes to figure out what shirt I wanted to wear. Even though I've lost about 46lbs, I still feel like I weight over 200. It's so unbelievably hard to change your own mind set, especially when people have drilled it into your head that your ugly, fat, stupid or what have you. Bullying has such a negative effect on an individuals for longer than just a few months or years. It can last a lifetime. I'll admit I am not the nicest person and I have been known to judge. I think the reason for that is because I feel as though I need to defend myself. That's so sad. I honestly wish I didn't feel that way.

Just a nice little reminder of how far I've come

I am absolutely no where close to where I want to be, but it's pictures like this that really throw everything into perspective. I know that I post them a lot on Facebook or Instagram, but I need the reminder. I need to see it for myself, because when I look in a mirror, I don't always get that feeling of accomplishment.

So I'm always looking for new recipes and I found one for "healthy" crockpot BBQ chicken. It really wasn't that bad in terms of calories, the only thing I worried about was the sodium level in the sauce. I'll be posting the recipe here shortly.



BBQ pulled chicken, broccoli slaw and sweet potato fries

I'd like to think it was a fairly healthy dinner. To end my dinner I made some homemade whip cream (not that healthy) and paired it with some fresh strawberries. MMM..

Bella got to lick the bowl

She's so spoiled, and I'm going to regret that treat tomorrow when her stomach is bothering her. Oh well, she deserves it. She was such a great dog all weekend long. It's been uber hot here, and I'm refusing to turn on my AC because I do not want to pay the electric, but I'm not sure how much longer I can hold out.

On a totally random note, you know what I don't like!? Liars. People that try to play games. Don't act like you wanna hang out and get to know me when you have a girlfriend, fiancé or a wife. What is wrong with people!?!?!? Makes me sick, if you're not happy in your relationship and need to run off to someone else, then maybe you should just get out of your relationship. You're just gonna end up miserable in the end.

Any who, my cousin came home from the hospital today, just in time for Mother's Day to spend with her son. My aunt goes in for surgery on the 19th to fix a problem from her last surgery, which I'm hoping this will put her on the right track to gain some weight and kick cancer's butt. Fingers crossed y'all. And lastly... it was Mother's Day, and my mom is better than yours. No really.

Throwback photo of my Mom and me

She has listened to it all for sure, and has always been there when I needed her. Happy Mother's Day to the most wonderful Mom there is!!! I love you!

"Beauty is the opposite of perfection-It's about confidence, charisma and character"

Cinco De Mayo, A Day Late

Happy Cinco De Mayo!!! A day late!! I did get around to making the Chicken Enchiladas. . mmm so good. But I didn't get to make the black bean hummus (because I had nothing to dip in it, oops.)



Chicken Enchiladas

So Good



I'll be posting the recipe on my recipe page shortly after this!!! They're supposed to be "skinny" but I think the flour tortillas and the cheese trump that.

I've been trying to get myself back on track with the health kick since I kind of lost touch with that for a couple weeks. So to start that off I had a pretty healthy breakfast the last two days.

Geen Tea, Scrambled Egg Whites With Cottage Cheese and English Muffin With Nutella And Strawberries

 

My favorite, I LOVE my English muffings with Nutella and strawberries. I also went to The Fresh Market and bought some strawberries. Someone please explain to me why I can buy Driscoll's strawberries at The Fresh Market and they're super red, delicious and PERFECT. . but when I buy Driscoll's strawberries at Kroger they're mushy, on the way out!?! I don't get it. The Fresh Market for any fruit and veggies from now on I think.

 

 

Look at the size of that thing!!!!

 

Strawberries are so good. There's a local strawberry farm that's about to open, hopefully, this weekend and I'm going to be there picking for sure. Spring/Summer is my favorite time of the year for fruit for obvious reasons, they're actually in season. So to celebrate my love for strawberries and the fact that I have about 3lbs of them I have to eat by the weekend before I pick more, I made my own strawberry yogurt bites!!

 

Ah boy, the pictures crooked.

So all I did was blend together a bunch of strawberries with Greek yogurt and then used some parchment paper to make a small funnel and I squeezed a bunch of dots out. Then I placed them in the freezer once they were done I went ahead and popped them off into another container (which is also still in the freezer). This way when I'm craving something sweet, instead of raiding my Nutella I'll be going straight for these babies. I'm on my second batch.

 

Sweet Baby

Everyone knows how much I love to snuggle my baby girl. I mean look at her. She's so cute. I honestly can't even imagine my life without her. I was talking about everything she's been through today with a leasing consultant at a new apartment complex I'm looking at. And I think I've had it rough. This poor girl has been fed improperly, practically starved, full of worms. . saved...and then neglected on the weekends by my ex. And yet, she still has so much love to give. She's currently snuggling the TV remote. . . like I said a LOT of love to give. So I'm pretty sure I have our living situation figured out, fingers crossed. So this morning I was cleaning a little and she was doing her usual, snuggling in my bed.

 

Hah

Just her face showing. So naturally I snapped that picture and then laid down on the bed with her. Then I noticed them. TICKS. Let me back up though. So Bella suffers from dermatitis, and she has to have an anti-bacterial bath at least once a month. For some reason it only happens in the spring/summer, and I'm thinking there's something in the grass that's rubbing her belly and making this happen. So her dermatitis was starting to act up and I said oh man she really needs to have one of her baths. I looked at her medicine which states "okay to use with regular baths and swimming" and then I read the bottle of shampoo "okay to use with flea drops".....verdict. . . LIES. I bathed Bella and then we took a walk around the apartment complex later that afternoon. Today. . . 9 ticks. One of them was buried so deep, I had to dig it out. The worst feeling in the world is hurting my baby. She was crying and scratching for me to stop, but I had to get them out. So she's okay, but now my bed is in total disinfect mode. We're, and by that I mean me, is washing EVERYTHING she came into contact with. I had to check myself and her. . 45 minutes later of checking and poking and pulling, I think we're tick free. I feel like it's lice. So that means that now I need to have her blood work done, which she's due for anyways. Ugh money. . real life problems. Just glad she doesn't hate me.

 

Music Festival

So that sunburn, is totally peeling, but I still kept some of the color. Pool time where are you!? I was feeling like a babe that day. The pants I just bought, already feeling loose, and the shirt a size smaller than usual. Best feeling ever. So tonight, to stay on track, I will be walking with my friend probably at the bike trail. Unfortunately, Bella will have to stay home. I want her new dose of flea and tick to fully absorb before I expose her to a possible chance of getting ticks again. Also, my neighbors are currently smoking (cigarettes, you weirdos) and because it's nice out it's coming into my apartment through my windows. GROSSSSS. Why. . why!?. . WHY!?!?!? It's such a disgusting habit, if I could just get my dad to stop. I'll be febreeze-ing with some "fluffy vanilla" shortly.

 

"You have more to do than be weighed down by pretty or beautiful. You are a fiery heart and a wicked brain. Do not let you soul be defined by its shell."



May the 4th be with you!

I'm a pretty big nerd, but I've never been much of a Star Wars fan (I know), yet for some reason today cracks me up. Life has been super busy and crazy since Easter. I've been in the process of trying to find a new affordable home for Miss Bella and myself, which is enough work in it's own. I also totally slacked on my clean eating, I'm sad.

 Life has just been beyond stressful for the last couple of weeks. I feel like after I got back from Mass. visiting my family in March life just tanked. I have an aunt who was diagnosed with cancer back before Christmas and I went home in March to make sure I got to see her before I didn't get that chance again. You just never know. I'm praying for her every day and hoping that she'll get better. Then my dad (and don't you dare tell his mother) ended up in the hospital with a virus that just knocked him on his ass. I received a phone call and it was "now don't be mad, but I'm on my way home from the ER, you're father is staying the night in telemetry." WHAT!?!?! Who starts a conversation like that!? Anyways, hes totally fine, he was just wicked dehydrated from the virus. He went home the next day and two days later my mom caught the same thing (hah). It freaked me out because he started picking up smoking again after he had one too many cigars celebrating life with another family member. My first thought is emphysema or worse. And of course he's pissed at me for getting another tattoo. Then their new dog Jack that they adopted has been off and on sick, and I'm not sure anyone really knows what's going on with him. In the meantime, I got really stressed out in my own life, just with every day things which started to give me actual chest pains (I'm way too young for that shit). Then today I found out one of my cousins was in a car accident, and was almost crushed between a tree and a car. Luckily she made it away with only a few broken ribs and bruised lungs. I'm so thankful her son wasn't with her, and I'm thankful that it wasn't worse. I'm not by any means a religious person, I used to try to go to church when I was kid, but it was never something I was pushed to do. But, recently, I've been reading bible versus like crazy, and praying over and over that someone out there will give my family a break.

I went to the music festival that I won tickets to and I had an absolute blast until I was so drunk I couldn't function. With all the stress in my life, no wonder. It's hard being 700 miles away, and not being able to do anything. I hope my family knows that if it came down to it, I would be home in a heart beat if I needed to be. So I just wanted to give everyone the update, and sorry I haven't posted any awesome recipes recently, but hopefully Cinco De Mayo will be promising. I'm shooting for chicken enchiladas and black bean hummus.

With all that being said. . .

"God sometimes takes us into troubled waters not to drown us, but to cleanse us."

I thought that was fitting.

Sodium Funny

I love my 3-day weekends like nobody's business. They make me so happy, and give me a total refresher after two 12-hour shifts. The last two days at work were totally crazy, just so many things to do, and well never enough time in the day to do them, even with overtime. So to sum up my day, Miss Bella and I slept in until 9am. . it was fabulous!! I then had a very big breakfast, my classic English muffin with Nutella and strawberries, scrambled egg whites with a little shredded cheese and a bowl of Kashi Indigo Morning with some almond milk and a warm cup of green tea!! I love having a big breakfast, I wish I could have them every morning, but when I wake up at 430AM. . . let's be real. So after breakfast I spent some time browsing the internet and I found this gem:

I can't stop laughing

If this doesn't scream NERD ALERT! then I don't know what will. I think any scientist can appreciate this as much as I do. If you don't get it, well I almost feel sorry for you. ::Sigh:: I'm such a geek.

Anyways Bella and I enjoyed a nice walk around the apartment complex this morning with our friend. It was a bit crisp, but I'm glad we went when we did because the rain hit shortly after.

Thankfully I got paid today, because I was seriously lacking food in my house and I was getting a little nervous. I looked up some recipes that I'd like to try within the next two weeks. Healthy chicken enchiladas and homemade black bean hummus. I'm also going to splurge and make spaghetti bread (not healthy, but totally worth it). Like I've said plenty of times before, it's okay to splurge a little. I'll be making the spaghetti bread and it'll be required to last me a weeks worth of food, so I won't have huge portion sizes. I'll most likely be making the chicken enchiladas on Sunday for my week, I'll be sure to post the recipe when I do!! I would have made the black bean hummus but the grocery store was out of chipotle peppers and I wasn't about to drive around like a weirdo all day looking for a pepper. While I was at the grocery store I tried to get myself to be healthy with my purchases. I bought lots of fruit: cantaloupe, strawberries, pineapple and grapes. I bought organic chicken which was actually on sale and even cheaper with my coupon than "regular" chicken for the enchiladas. I picked up some more Nutella (I'm not even going to explain that one haha). Greek yogurt which I plan on blending with either the pineapple or the strawberries and make my own yogurt bites. Cottage cheese, because it's super high in protein and delicious.

Look at the size of that guy

I also found out that there's a strawberry farm about 20 minutes away. . . I'm not sure why I was never aware of this. I'll be picking strawberries next month for sure!!! One of my favorite things to do is pick fruit, just because I think fresh food tastes so much better. I can't wait until I'm rich and famous and can have my own garden! ughhh veggies.

Well, tomorrow is the music festival!!! Super excited!!! (there's a dog barking outside of my apartment right now that sounds like it smokes about 20 packs of cigarettes, totally distracting). SOOO music festival, I decided to get a little fancy and paint my nails and fix my pedicure.

Not bad for free hand

The single pink nail matches my toes. I'm more of a dark pink girl when it comes to nail polish colors, unless I'm tan. Once I'm tan, anything bright! Yes please! But here's to tomorrow, drinking wine, listening to music and hopefully not getting sunburned.

I'm smaht

I'm almost hoping that I have so much fun tomorrow that this will be the result Sunday. . .don't judge. This chick is a little wild sometimes.

"She's whiskey in a teacup"

Easter

Well it's certainly been a couple of days since my last post. Life has been hectic but fun! I, unfortunately, did not get to celebrate Easter with my family; but, one of my best friends had me over for dinner, and it was absolutely wonderful! I felt so grateful that they opened up their home to me that I made a cake for dessert. I'll post the recipe, but there's nothing healthy about this one. I made fresh strawberry cake!!!

Ugh, how could you NOT want to eat that!?!?! It has fresh strawberries crushed and mixed in, along with homemade cream cheese frosting. It's totally okay to indulge once in a while, and since it was a holiday, definitely okay.

I had such a wonderful time with her family. Her sister has two great kids, both of which I adore. They crack me up! It totally feels like my crazy family back home, and I think that's why I like it so much.

So as I've announced in one of my last posts, I've been having trouble keeping Miss Bella in her crate. I ditched the crate, baby gate it is. And so far so good!!

Sad Puppy

Luckily, she's only messed once in there, but being that its linoleum versus carpet, much easier to clean! And she's actually making use of her dog bed now instead of just trying to eat it. I love this rascal so much. We had a nap on the couch this afternoon, total snuggle bug, and I wouldn't have traded it for the world.

So this weekend if the first annual music festival in my city! I'm wicked excited about it, and even more excited that I won tickets!! I was just listening to the radio and they announced that you could enter to win, so of course I got online and registered. I've only ever won one thing in my life from a raffle, and that was a computer in high school (which totally pissed off the upperclassmen), whatever. And the next day I received an e-mail saying "hey come get them at the station!". OH SO EXCITED! I'm going to sit outside all day listening to music, and get tan.

Speaking of music festivals, last June I attended the XTU concert in Camden, NJ. One of my friends invited me up, and we had a blast! It was a whole group of her friends that went. While I was there I had on my favorite pair of sunglasses, and when I got back home I couldn't find them anywhere. I was so upset. One because the first pair I owned Bella ate and two because this was the last pair the store had exactly the same. So I bought two more pairs of other sunglasses to be safe. Well, you know I've lost two pant sizes and I had to figure out what Spring clothes I had that still fit. I was trying on some old shorts and then all of a sudden I felt something under the stack. BAM! I found my sunglasses. Apparently when I got back and finished up my laundry from the trip to Jersey I must have put my sunglasses down and accidentally packed them away.

Aren't they just beautiful!?

So I'd say the last two days I've been in total WINNING mode. Look out world.

Beautiful Struggles

Today was a fun filled, painful day. I got my fourth tattoo....on my foot. Ouch.

Beautiful Struggles with a Lotus

So for those of you that are curious, I got this tattoo as a symbol for everything I've been through. I guess it's not just in the past year or so, but maybe most of my life. I know I've told you all I've always struggled with weight issues my whole life. When I was younger kids always made fun of me at school for being "bigger". I had a nickname in middle school as Fat Clown, talk about some damage to my self-esteem. I struggled with a small eating disorder for a couple months, nothing crazy like anorexia and such. But I seriously cut back on my food intake, and even skipped a couple days worth of meals. When I got into high school I had a girl call me Big Bird all the time, someone I used to call a friend. I had a group of girls I considered my best friends, until I made one small opinionated comment. Then the rumors started to fly around and not only was I fat, but apparently a whore. . that was a virgin, go figure. Who has time for all that!? Just typing about it exhausts me. I knew I didn't want to stay anywhere near my hometown. I came to Virginia and fell in love with the people, I just felt so accepted. Of course, I always felt a little left out, because no one ever seemed to be interested in me, but that was okay. I spent a lot of time with my sorority as I mentioned, which gave me a lot of confidence as an individual, and I focused on my future. After I graduated college I dropped a lot of weight, because all those late night binges, bad eating habits, lack of sleep, partying and stress was gone. When I finally accepted my first full time job I was ecstatic. I moved two hours away, unfortunately, it was right after I met my, now ex-boyfriend. We did the long distance for about 10 months until my lease came up for renewal. He asked me to move in which meant leaving my job and the new friends I had made. So I took a huge pay decrease to work at a call center and I made sure he knew that the only terms I would move in with him on was that at some point even if it was 20 years down the road, he would marry me. Everything seemed so perfect. Then it started; the lack of compromise and communication. He refused to travel for the holidays, yet expected me to give up time with my family for his. Complained that my family was always a priority (well hello, they live 700 miles away, we lived next door to his). Then it was the whole talking to other girls behind my back. The weight started to pile back on, and his drinking got out of control. I was working anywhere from 6-7 days a week 8-10 hours. I would come home, the dog would have been a total mess around the house, and he was passed out drunk in the chair. Sometimes waking up only to yell at me. I tried so hard to make it better, but it just continued to get worse. (Please know that I'm not blaming him, as it takes two to create chaos.) We finally decided on a vacation with my family, which was a battle all in it's own. What a great time, seriously. We had an absolute blast, and he spent a lot of time talking with my dad. As I mentioned before, this was the vacation he told my dad he couldn't wait to spend the rest of his life with me. The drive back was all about us, and how we had a lot to work on but how much we loved each other and couldn't wait to fix everything. All it took was 24hrs to change that conversation around. I set up a Facebook for him so he could connect with old friends, and this one girl wouldn't stop messaging him. Next thing I knew we have an argument and hes falling asleep on the phone with her. Blowing me off so he can talk to her, just one week after our beautiful vacation, he told me we were done. I hit rock bottom, totally lost it. I had not only wasted months of arguing, but gave up my career, my life. I honestly didn't know if I wanted to go on some days. When I finally made the decision to take care of me, I knew I would never let that happen again. Sure I know I'll get my feelings hurt, but I refuse to let someone walk all over me and rip my life away. So my tattoo is a symbol of all of that. The Lotus grows in mud, so it's my way of saying that I have grown from all my struggles. That I have taken those struggles and created something beautiful with them. . . a healthy life. Some of those battles may still be unspoken, but they have all contributed to the person I am today. This tattoo means more to me than many of you may ever know. I just hope (and wish for others) that they take their struggles and do the same. I know sometimes life gets rough, but it's meant to be that way. It's a test, and I truly believe it all happens for a reason. So with all that being said. . . TRUST your struggles as they are there with purpose.

Learn to love yourself

"I love the person I have become, because I've fought to become her."

#Love

Silly Spring.
So the Hairy Houdini struck again! I put her into her crate and made sure to zip tie all the sides. . . . I came home and she was on the couch. I gave up, the crate has been put away, and I bought her a baby gate for the kitchen. She thinks she's smooth, but I'm smarter, maybe...

We took a walk this morning with our friend, as we do every week.

I was feeling pretty good this morning

Bella was exhausted after our first walk, but I was definitely hungry. I didn't get this fat by not eating, let's be serious now. But for real, I decided to treat myself to a grilled cheese, because they're delicious. I had two choices of butter in my fridge.

The left is Land-O-Lakes butter with olive oil, Right is Smart Balance with Omega-3

Rewind. The left is real butter, and check out those ingredients. Three, that's it, just three all natural ingredients. The "butter" that's supposed to be better for you has preservatives in it. Potassium Sorbate, EDTA. . those are things we also have in our shampoo and hand soap. Are they really something we want to be eating? Probably not. Just because the package says "hey I'm gonna support a healthy heart", doesn't mean that everything in it is natural. At this point I'm not even sure if the Smart Balance is real butter. I'd rather forfeit and have an extra 10 calories on my grilled cheese. Knowledge can be the best weapon you own. I'm the type of person who creates a grocery list, and literally matches all my coupons and then goes to the store with a calculator, and I will spend hours at the store sometimes to compare boxes. I highly recommend being more conscious of your food choices, I obviously need to start paying more attention. I can't even believe I bought that Smart Balance stuff.

So this afternoon after my grilled cheese, and my run to Wal Mart for Bella's new baby gate. I found myself going on another walk! One of my best friends decided to skip the gym since it was nice out, and chose me to walk with. We took a stroll downtown on the bike path over the James River (never go swimming in it), and although a bit crisp thanks to the cold front, a beautiful walk!

I would make a comment, but BODY PLEDGE!!!

There's a great sign down by the river for the community to take pictures with and "hashtag" why you love Central Virginia. What a great idea for the city! I really think my city is making a turn for the better. I've seen a lot of great local business pop up, many that I still need to explore! But I digress, we walked about 3 miles this afternoon, and I feel like I'm getting myself back on track. I know that the winter months are hard, because its cold and who wants to be outside. The food is generally more rich, and I love my parents don't get me wrong, but I swear all we do is eat when we see each other. I gained 10lbs over Thanksgiving alone. . . AH! I'm still trying to lose it. But, that's okay, because progress takes time, and nobody is perfect. I know that if I lost 46lbs last summer by walking and eating right, and I only gained 10lbs back, and I've lost about 5 of those already, that I can do it again this summer. I'm by no means trying to be a skinny minny, I have curves, I have thighs. They will always be there. (I'm still working on that butt though). I just intend to make myself and keep myself a healthy individual. But know that it's also okay to splurge every now and then.

Baked Italian Breaded Chicken Stuffed with Mozzarella, Spinach, Roma Tomato and Pesto

 Figured I'd give you guys another recipe!! And here's a progress picture for you...

College 2009 to July 2013 to Today, April 16, 2014

"The strongest actions for a woman is to love herself, be herself and shine amongst those who never believe she could." -Unknown

Beef and Broccoli

WHAT A WEEKEND! First off, Thursday I came home from work and miss Bella was out of her crate again. I honestly couldn't be mad at her because well seriously check out the video.

The weak spot in her crate is now zip-tied together. I really didn't do a whole lot over the weekend, but I had an absolute blast doing what I did do. So I had Friday-Sunday off, and Friday I proceeded to give my house the cleaning it deserved and I went for a walk around my complex with Bella and a good friend of mine. The weather was beautiful, and I'm so happy it's getting warmer out now, because that means I'll be outside more! Friday night I found myself wicked bored, sitting in my apartment in the dark staring at the wall. I called up a coworker and she invited me over for their dinner party. I drank a couple Angry Orchard Cinnful Apples, because that's my new go to. We then played some boxing on the Kinect. . . . I have bruises and my armpits hurt. I feel like a 13yr old gamer. Saturday I had a fantastic dinner at this restaurant downtown called Robin Alexanders, AMAZING, as always! My girlfriend and I were able to catch up on a month and a half of separation time. I call her my girlfriend because in college I had so much money on my student account for food, that every afternoon I would buy her lunch in between our classes (she was a commuter). She pretty much rocks my world and is my voice of reasoning sometimes. Like when I messaged her today about a new tattoo I want. A lotus flower, lightly shaded in pink, with the words Beautiful Struggle in the stem of the lotus. Sunday was dedicated to literally just relaxing, and I had a chapter meeting with my girls tonight. They seem to be doing super well and after all the stuff they've had going on are still upbeat about all their activities. Kudos to them!

As for the food I actually ate at home. . . my fruit of choice this weekend was cantaloupe!! Did you know that there are only 100 calories in an entire cantaloupe!? Crazy, I know. I also decided to try something really different, and I made my scrambled egg whites and instead of adding a little bit of shredded cheese, I added cottage cheese. It was actually really delicious and super filling!! Then I finished my weekend off by making beef and broccoli. . soo gooddddd!! Check out my recipe page for the breakdown!

"Don't let someone dim your light, simple because it's shining in their eyes." <3

Hairy Houdini

Today. . . I witnessed an act of pure mystery. But let me give you some history first. Every morning that I work, Bella has to be put in her crate. I used to have her house trained for the most part, until I lost her for a couple months. All my work was undone, so when I got her back I had to start over. I didn't trust her for a second. So my parents bought her a new crate, and so the training began, but not without a fight. Well, here we are present day, and she's crate "trained" meaning she won't mess in her crate. . but she hates her crate. So inevitably every morning I am forced to literally push her into it. When I get home in the evening there she is, wagging her tag, excited to see me. Today however, I walked in the door and looked straight at her crate only to see the door shut and no dog. That was when I caught her out of the corner of my eye, standing on the back of the couch. . . So I said "HELLO!?!? what are you doing!?!?! how did you get out!?!?! why are you not in your crate!?!" Her response was to literally turn her back to me and put her head down, because clearly she knew she was in the wrong. I couldn't help but laugh, and those are the moments I choose to love and cherish rather than let them anger me.

My Little Hairy Houdini (Get it!? haha)

With all that being said I'm posting a "new" recipe. Obviously, one I tried a while back, but recently talked about and forgot how much I loved it!! Check out my recipe page for the breakdown!

Spicy Chicken and Spinach Stuffed Sweet Potatoes with Feta and Cilantro

I think it's very healthy to spend time alone. You need to know how to be alone and not be defined by another person. -Oscar Wilde

Pumpkin Is The New Cheese

Hey friends,
So I know it's been a couple days since I posted anything, total fail. I'm currently in the process of potentially finding a new home for myself and the Queen Bee herself.

Why are my front legs so short!?

It's not that I don't like where I am, but I've been here less than two years and they've changed my rent four times. Come on now guys. So I'm starting the search early so that I'm not scrambling last minute to find a new home for us. Heaven forbid we'd have to move back home. NO THANKS! (love you Mom & Dad). Speaking of, tomorrow's my Dad's birthday. . . I almost forgot, but didn't. It's weird to think my Dad is another year older, I really don't think of it like that. I just think I get older and he stays the same age.

Sidetracked. Anyways I was super ambitious today between my future home search and my attempt at a new recipe!. . . Pumpking Cottage Cheese Macaroni and Cheese. I know, I know. Sounds terrible. Let's take a step back for a second. When I decided try and become healthy, that meant substitution in my meals, and keeping an open mind. I won't lie, it's hard, but you have to be willing to try new things. If you don't keep an open mind, it's not gonna work.

Check out my recipe page

Well, it's definitely not the heavy, creamy macaroni and cheese I know and love; but, it's still super delicious!! The cottage cheese adds tons of protein, and well pumpkin is just good for you. I prefer to buy SmartTaste pasta because it has a lot of fiber in it, and I tend to find I'm not a huge fan of whole wheat pastas, so it's my next best choice! I also breaded some chicken breast with Italian seasoned breadcrumbs and cooked up some green beans on the side. I LOVE GREEN BEANS.

I usually make one giant meal once every couple of days, and then I have leftovers to pack for my work lunches (in this case. . plus some).  I know it looks kind of boring, but the flavors were great, and it was all filling which means I only had one serving versus two.

So this girl is off to bed, only two days of work and I'm off all weekend! I cannot wait to be outside in the beautiful weather!!

This is how I feel about the weather

Kill them with success, and bury them with a smile <3

Breakfast for Dinner

This past week has been so mentally and physically exhausting, but oh so worth it. Tonight is going to be short and sweet, this girl is TIRED! I've probably been lucky enough to have a total of 8 hours of sleep since Thursday, and honestly, I'm not sure how I survived college at this point. So it's 8:30PM. . and I've already showered and gotten into my bed. . it's Saturday. . . and I'm not even ashamed. My day was overall a normal day, sadly boring. When I got off work I seriously had no idea what I was going to have for dinner and I played with the thought of Panera or Cookout, then I thought to myself, "wait, you are a broke bitch, and although Panera has healthy choices I know I won't make one". So needless to say I ended up with a bowl of cereal....

I used to think to myself, how on Earth can people eat that health cereal, it has to taste like cardboard, plus it looks like sticks. Boy, I was so wrong. Kashi makes this Indigo Morning brilliance! I couldn't be more in love with it. It's the only cereal I buy now, and it looks nothing like sticks and has real fruit. And check out those stats, 22g of whole grain and 2g of fiber. . you know what that means! I thought I had hit the jackpot until I started pairing it with this:

Almond milk...mmmmm. Also, only 60 calories! I checked the normal 1% store brand milk I used to and sometimes still do buy (just because cooking with almond milk doesn't always satisfy my taste buds) and a normal glass has 100 calories. So, just by switching one thing I'm down 40 calories. I know it doesn't sound like much, but it's small changes like these that add up to big changes later. So a little Kashi with some almond milk and this girl is set. Not to mention the almond milk gives the fruit a nutty taste and well, it's a foodgasm in my mouth. I'm not sure it trumps the strawberries and Nutella though.

Change your mindset <3

Relay For Life

I'd say today was a pretty normal day, woke up at 430AM, went to work for 12.5 hours, and came home to my loving dog. Then I decided to attend an event that no matter how many times I attend, changes my life. My alma mater hosted Relay For Life tonight, an event with the American Cancer Society to help find a cure. While attending college I was always at the event, supporting my friends, and my family.

Jamaican A Difference

This year I attended as an alumni, and I was still just as moved. The sorority that I advise for decided their theme would be "Jamaican A Difference" and they would sell smoothies during the day, and chili later tonight. They also won recognition for over all best setup/fundraiser/theme, and I couldn't be more proud. Tonight I walked the track in memory of my grandfather, who passed away in 2007 from lung cancer; my aunt who is currently battling, and my family members who are survivors. Cancer, unfortunately, does not discriminate. I applaud the individuals who fight battles larger than some of us will ever know. I can only hope that one day we will be successful in medicine, in finding a cure.

Pilnas

On my back I have a memorial tattoo, in honor of the lives I have lost in my life. One of them being my grandfather, truly a man of strength. Throughout his battle he never asked for sympathy, but rather support. The tattoo is a Lithuanian sun cross (Yes, I'm actually Lithuanian). The center "Pilnas" is in my own handwriting, and means "Full of Strength". I wear it, branded to my skin, as a daily reminder of the people that once surrounded me. I know that with them watching from above, I am capable of conquering any thing.

 God Bless <3

Spring Splurge

Wow! So many views already and it's only my first day! Super excitedddd!! I have so many great supporters! Honestly, y'all are the ones that will keep me motivated to continue posting. I would like to say that I ate totally healthy today but I didn't. Womp. 

However, I did have a healthy breakfast. I work 12 hour shifts 6am-6pm, so on the days I work it's hard for me to wake up early and eat a giant breakfast, which means on my days off I like to go all out.

I've had this breakfast two days in a row now. . . no shame. A honey wheat (double fiber, according to the package) english muffin with Nutella (BEST THING EVER) and fresh sliced strawberries, 2 eggs worth of egg whites with a little bit of 1% milk to fluff those babies up. Some cheese (because, eggs are delicious with cheese) a banana, and green tea.

I totally skipped lunch however, because I decided to take myself out spring clothes shopping. Since I've lost so much weight, I need new clothes. Anyways, I had so much fun! I LOVE to shop at Maurices (so much so I have a credit card. . sorry, not sorry). What I love about them is they have so many different types of fashions and plus sizes! It's so hard to find a fashionable store that carries above a size 14 without ordering online. . get it together American Eagle. I ended up being there when the store manager was there and wow, she fantastic. She walked up asked if I was planning outfits, obviously I was with my Pinterest (follow me www.pinterest.com/simplyassuch), and I said nooo, because I was embarrassed, but she took all the clothes out of my hands and immediately put them into my own personalized fitting room. That's what's up. And continued to take anything I found right back there. LOVE!

 Check out the awesomeness! Cute new sandals, a mint tank top for my white capris, a long black maxi skirt that I cannot wait to pair with my white tank top, and maybe a fancy schmancy hat. And I spent less than $200, essentially for 3 tank tops, shoes, two pairs of capris, a t-shirt, a maxi skirt and a new belt. I'm feeling pretty good about my purchases. I'm not sure my credit card is though. But I think this is what I like most about being healthy and losing weight. . . SHOPPING!

So I'm going to end my night with some dinner (totally undecided) a book. . . if you're not reading Divergent I highly recommend that you do, and a pumpkin oat bar. Be sure to check out my recipe page located at the top in my tabs!!

You're beautiful! <3

Introduction

Hey y'all! Welcome to my blog! My names Jessica and I am a 20-something from Massachusetts residing in the heart of Virginia (where it's a hell of a lot warmer). I have no desire to move back to New England, sorry fam, love ya, mean it! Since 2012 I have been on a life changing journey to be healthy. I had gone through a rough patch and found myself at the lowest of lows. I knew I needed to change. Since then I have lost, that I've actually kept track of, about 46lbs. I am not by any means a gym freak or a nutritionist.....just a girl simply looking to be healthy. I finally feel it's time to share this with the world! I'll be sharing many of my progress pictures, recipes that I love, and even fun things I have going on in my life.

 My baby, Bella and I at Christmas 2013, she is my world, my savior

 So let me give you a little background on myself. I have always struggled with weight even though I was an active child. I played soccer, marched in the band, all different types of dance including ballet and just regular acrobats, as well as competitive style gymnastics. I rode my bike everywhere as a kid, but I was always just "bigger". Many people through out middle school picked on me, called me names and some of that even carried through to high school. I always thought I had a great group of friends, until they turned on me. Rumors were spread in high school, making me hate every second of being there. Why do people have to be so cruel? I knew I needed out, that I need a fresh start somewhere. I ended up in Virginia for college, and graduated in 2010 with a B.S. in Biology. I never really dated any one which was fine, I was busy attending events with my sorority, Alpha Sigma Alpha. Who would have thought, I, the girl who hated girls would join an entire organization of them! 

Goodness! We was some fine ladies. 

Did I mention I went to a small private christian based college?? Our sorority maxed out at 50 girls, and I think that was plenty enough. It really gave us the ability to have close tight-knit relationships, which also created problems, but I wouldn't change it for the world. I truly felt at home with these ladies, and still do. I was able to foster some amazing relationships and I know no matter how far away, or how long we go without talking that they're my sister and nothing will change between us. I knew that being with these girls, I WAS ME. I am now the Chapter Advisor for the same chapter that helped shape who I am today.

My BEAUTIFUL big and myself at New Years 2014!!!

Any ways I graduated college in 2010 with that B.S. I mentioned above, and struggled to find a job as most new graduates do. I did it though, and I ended up with some fabulous jobs. I actually sound really smart on paper. I worked for a company temporarily doing research to help develop a test method for a new product they were developing. I was then offered a full-time position in a research center performing enzyme restriction on mass produced synthetic DNA for sequencing purposes. I left that job for someone I thought I would spend the rest of my life with. I then ended up with the company I am now at. My job is to analyze active ingredients in OTC health and beauty care products by HPLC/GC analysis. Sounds super awesome, but really I test soap. I began working a lot, and things became rough in my relationship. It soon ended shortly after I moved, and I found myself scared/lost/confused. I had been blind sided, just 7 days before I had no place to live, the man who promised he'd never hurt me told my dad he couldn't wait to marry me. So imagine the confusion and hurt when he sat me down to say goodbye. 

I am lucky enough to have the friends I do, and I moved in with a friend until I could get back up on my feet and back into my own place. I left my dog behind because I couldn't take her with me, and I hit a low. I thought I had my life together, but found myself like a zombie just roaming through the day, without a purpose. I got myself into my own place, and I knew right then and there things had to change. It didn't happen over night, nothing ever does and that was okay. I finally got Bella back and she helped me more than she'll ever know. Having her forced me to get up in the morning, forced me to get outside and most importantly she showered me with the unconditional love I needed. 

How could you NOT love that face?!?!?

And so it began. . . . my journey to become a healthier version of  myself all around. To eat better, to live better and to feel better. Because, if I cannot love myself and my life then how can I hold any one else to that?? So here's a little before and after to give you an idea of just how far I have brought myself  . . .

I know, right?!?!

 

So, with all that being said. . . enjoy!